Servant to Friend

From Servant To Friend

What slave when his master tells him to do something, would ever be so proud as to say “Why?” The Lord keeps His counsel and his plans to himself. They become clearer if he does his duty, if he does well, if from being a servant he becomes a friend, as the Lord Himself said: “ I will o longer call you servants, but friends.” (John 15:15)Perhaps he will also learn his Lord’s plans; meanwhile, before he knows the plans, let him willingly carry out the decisions. (St. Augustine, Sermon no. 296)

When I first came home from the hospital after the birth of our daughter, I nursed her for about eight months. One night when she woke me at the usual time, I seemed to see the figure of Jesus standing near my bed. I could hear the baby crying and so I got up and walked toward the nursery next to our bedroom. It seemed as if the figure of Jesus walked with me, and I was not afraid, but wondered. In the nursery I sat down with the baby in my arms, while the figure of Jesus remained in front of me. When I attempted to nurse my daughter on the right side, I found that my nursing bra wouldn’t open, no matter what I tried. Finally I thought, , “Jesus doesn’t want me to nurse on this side.” I changed to the left side without difficulty, and the baby was satisfied. I looked up and the figure of Jesus was gone. I had been groggy from sleep, but I determined that for some reason, I should continue to nurse only on the left side, and so I did that for a few weeks, finally giving it up and nursing on both sides .

In the eighth month of nursing I discovered a lump in my right breast. The doctor sent me to a surgeon, who said he would perform a lumpectomy unless the lump was malignant, and in that case it would be a mastectomy. When I woke up from the surgery I knew it had been the latter, and the cancer had spread to the lymph nodes. I believed that my night time experience with the figure of Jesus had not been a dream, but a genuine protection for my daughter. I have no explanation for this appearance, but it deepened my faith, and my sense of purpose in all of life. In the hospital the figure of Jesus returned, holding my breast, and I felt confident that it would be returned to me some day.

I never thought of asking “Why?” but I felt deeply that I did, and do, have a “friend” who came when I didn’t even know that I needed Him. My daughter has never had breast cancer.

Love in Him,

Prue