In the book of the First Thessalonians St. Paul writes of the end of the world and the second coming of Christ: “We who are still alive, who are left will be caught up together…in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever.” (I Thessalonians 4:17). Paul clearly believes that his relationship with the resurrected Christ will mean that he, Paul, as well as the Thessalonian believers, will not ever die. Paul wrote this letter early in his ministry; it may, in fact be the first of all his letters.

Some fifteen years later Paul wrote to the Philippians something else about himself: “For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful work for me. Yet what shall I choose:? I do not know! I am torn between the two.” (Philippians 1:21)

Even later, close to the time of his death, Paul wrote to his much loved disciple, Timothy, “For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time for my departure is near. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” (2 Timothy 4:6).

The distance between these letters, from first to the last, is astronomical. For Paul to travel between being the apostle who will not have to die, to being “poured out like a drink offering” signals a profound change in Paul that can be instructive to us.

Paul’s relationship to his supernatural God in Christ never wavered. His own happy notion of his future when he finally knew both that he didn’t have the choice he thought he had, and that he would in fact be dying, was grounded in Paul’s undying love for the One who had spoken to him on the road to Damascus, who had accompanied him through his life and ministry and had shared His Spirit with him in all his travels. All that he once thought would be true for himself proved not to be. Nevertheless, Paul’s sense of purpose and even achievement wasn’t marred by any change in his expectations. He called his fight “good”, and his faith is entirely intact: “And now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed to see His appearing.”( 2 Timothy 4:8)

More even than the things Paul wrote, his love for Christ is a letter to each of us, and a well of God’s presence in our midst.

Love in Him,

Prue